|
http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ANunsLife/~3/7NDNQ12NLZM/ http://anunslife.org/?p=4284 Picture this: you’re going through a difficult time, you’ve got a lot on your mind, you just can’t seem to make sense of stuff. Then someone says it, that dreadful line: “Offer it up.”
If you are like me (admittedly, not my most admirable quality) you have to suppress an overwhelming desire to take a swing at the person.
To me, “offer it up” is not exactly the most compassionate thing a person can say when another is in a tough space. In fact, sometimes it rings of a kind of dismissal, an unwillingness to be with a person in their struggle, even if only in silent vigil.
Though not fond of this line, I found it was exactly the one that came to mind this morning as I read Saint Teresa of Avila. As mentioned before, I’m re-reading The Life as translated by Mirabai Starr in Teresa of Avila: The Book of My Life and am at a significant moment in Teresa’s life where she has a conversion. Teresa writes about how difficult prayer has been for her. “By now, my poor soul had grown weary. But no matter how much she wished she could rest, the bad habits I had developed would not let her” (p. 58). Teresa speaks of losing trust in herself, of being unable to imagine Christ in prayer, of having distracting thoughts that would torment her, of being plagued with doubts. “I slid back so many times that I was exhausted” (p. 59).
Teresa was indeed in a tough space. So what did she do?
She offered it up.
In this tough space Teresa gave to God all that she had — not successes or insights or any kind of “worthiness” — but the only things she felt she had left: her fears, her doubts, her temptations, her “deep soul-weariness”.
To God she offered them.
There is real wisdom in Teresa’s experience. Sometimes we feel like we don’t have a whole heck of a lot going for ourselves. We struggle, we deal with pain, we despair, we worry, we just don’t feel like engaging anymore. God does not ask us to give that which we don’t have. In these times, God doesn’t expect us to offer perfectly manicured prayers, devout thoughts, or deeds of righteousness. What God asks us for is who we are and what we do have. We can offer to God as a gift our pain, despair, worry, and struggle. Doing so is not abnegating responsibility or expecting that it will all magically go away. Rather, offering these our gifts is an opportunity to open the door to God, to God’s love and deep compassion. It is a chance to move beyond the impasse we experience in our life and become ourselves more fully.
“O God, help me! How a soul suffers when she loses the freedom to be who she truly is. What torment she endures. I am amazed to see that I survived such pain. Praise be to God, who gave me life when I was on the brink of such a deadly death.”
What comes to mind as you hear the words “offer it up” and as you hear Teresa’s experience? What’s the hardest part of “offering it up”? What’s happened for you when you’ve tried to offer up your own tough situations?
* * *
Join us this evening for Praying with the Sisters podcast — 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) at http://anunslife.org/live. We’ll have a special reading in celebration of our IHM Founders Day. |