| A tour through a particularly schizophrenic Glaswegian takeaway menu |
[Aug. 25th, 2008|10:09 pm] |
The photos didn't come out terribly clearly, but then I think spending any time whatsoever on photographing a takeaway menu is probably too much anyway.
I like to contribute to cultural exchange. We're a healthy bunch here. |
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[Aug. 25th, 2008|07:58 pm] |
Anyone who has glanced at it will know how horribly right wing and stupid the Have Your Say section of the BBC news site is but this one really floored me. On the subject of 'Britishness':
To be British would be to rise up and rid our shores of all the Darkies that have polluted us over the years - it'll never happen.
Nick, UK
Recommended by 12 people
I mean...fucking hell... |
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[Aug. 23rd, 2008|01:22 am] |
I just had awesome beans on toast.
SEE I CAN DO ACTUAL COOKING |
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| The whole package |
[Aug. 22nd, 2008|06:06 am] |
I read quite a lot of comics. I'm not much of a collector in that I only buy what I want to read, but nevertheless there's something about buying comics from the past that is quite exciting to me. Most of the non-current stuff I get tends to be from the late 80s and early 90s...the boom era when adult oriented comics were getting popular on both sides of the Atlantic. Although the content of the comic itself may not be earth-shatteringly different from the kind of thing on offer today the experience doesn't end with the story. Back issues are like little time capsules. I like reading the introductions, the letters pages and especially the advertisements.
Given that so many collectors are OCD about maintaining the original condition of comic books, back issues often look like they were only published last week. Yet they're full of adverts for Amiga or NES systems or youth magazines featuring people who must now be well over 40. It's not all that long ago, but neither is it yesterday. This pre-Internet time when a comic editor writes a piece half-seriously talking about how the issue he is writing for may well be sought out by people in 2010. We're nearly there and yet there is this peculiar, paper-based medium that has not dissolved or decayed and is in wide circulation presently in a way that old newspapers simply are not. |
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| Jam |
[Aug. 19th, 2008|06:43 pm] |
Is there a way to scrape Youtube to detect the most common words used in comments? I bet 'gay' is in the top fifty at least.
My favourite comment so far today is ' those hoes all want him to jam that monster in em'
I might use that line in my story.
'Jam that monster!' she guffawed |
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| I'm not much of a cook |
[Aug. 19th, 2008|03:40 am] |
Tin of custard.
Half tin of rice pudding.
Chocolate powder (2tbsp)
Stir
Microwave one minute
Stir
Microwave one minute
Stir
NOM |
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| Priorities |
[Aug. 18th, 2008|12:54 pm] |
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I haven't done any work for several days but I have written 700 words for a Mills & Boon short story competition. Word limit is 1500 and there's an £800 laptop to be won...as well as a year's supply of romance novels. What I've written is utter shit but I'll share it here when I'm done. |
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| I am in five bands |
[Aug. 16th, 2008|05:48 am] |
1.The Sticky Celebrants
2. Childbrine
3. The Base Incentives
4. Diabeetus
5. Vesuvius Fightmaster and the Cocks
All five bands consist of me plus the slap bass setting on my 1994 era Yamaha keyboard. |
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| LJ hilarity |
[Aug. 15th, 2008|08:21 pm] |
I understand that not everyone takes an interest in Livejournal drama but I, like lots of others, have been a wee bit annoyed with ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) legomymalfoy , our elected user representative. If you don't already know, the user rep was elected from the userbase to represent the interests of users in general at Advisory Board meetings. The site's founder Brad Fitzpatrick is on there, as are cool people like Lawrence Lessig and danah boyd who have lots of interesting things to say about internet type things. Unfortunately the user rep has said and done next to nothing since being elected and has been pretty hostile to anyone asking about meetings or any of the big changes that have been taking place.
The community ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) userdom_counts was created to attract attention to the issue, and to demonstrate that there are people who want the rep to do their job properly, and to communicate with the userbase. Her current policy is that she will read comments people post on entries made by LJ staff, and base her recommendations on them. That does not seem good enough to me. On a similar theme, there's a community called no_lj_ads which is a good, thoughtful comm related to the advertising issue, other blogging options and information about the state of LJ in general.
More info about the rep thing is on userdom_counts. Join up, or just have a wee read. Though joining up would be good. |
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[Aug. 10th, 2008|06:53 pm] |
Jeremy Clarkson reminds me very much of Morrissey. Not sure why. Here's an amusing song with amusing video called Morrissey Rides A Cock Horse:
I was thinking earlier that I let an awful lot of things slide. Apart from the biggies, I've got quite a bad memory for bad things, which I think is fairly helpful though it's a bit odd when people I've not spoken to in a while bring up stuff from way back. I suppose my point is that I live in a state of infinite grace and it's quite good to emphasise that on my internet blog for reasons of prestige and interest.
I've not crammed an awful lot into my life and it's more than I can really keep track of already. I've no idea how people manage to make sense of their lives. I suspect it's fairly common for people to more or less settle on a consistent identity for a couple of years at a time, cherry picking the memories that seem least likely to lead to psychic collapse and the inevitable black waves of remonstration that follow from trying to tie everything together. |
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| The Electric Scarecrow |
[Aug. 9th, 2008|05:55 am] |
I saw this chap in the flesh for the first time today:
He's a bit of a Glasgow legend. I've heards bits and pieces about him for years and years but was never lucky enough to get within appreciation distance of his glorious neon insanity. He must get some awful beatings. I mean...I still get shouted at from cars and the most outrageous thing about my appearance these days is my split ends.
Anyway..I had a little look online to see if I could find any more info about him. Various places on the internet seem to suggest that he is a big Tina Turner fan, is a keen proponent of public transport and enjoys shouting things about bumsex to old ladies while dancing with glowsticks.
There are 94 comments detailing stories and encounters featuring him in response to this blog entry. It's a very funny read. My favourite exchange is:
Commenter A: He was recently in the Sheriff Courts for being caught gobbling some random punter’s bell-end in a public dunny. Apart from that, I know his name and that he is on medication. He’s a fucking tool and anyone who thinks he’s “colourful” and all the connotations of innocent playfulness it carries is a cunt.
Commenter B: Jesus Christ. Who would put their knob in this guy’s mouth, for fuck’s sake? I’d rather stick mine in the bottle-recycling bin. Cleaner, safer, and less wasps. Probably.
There's also a story featuring him on the Blood Bus blog, which is written by an aggrieved Glasgow bus driver. It's very good. I quite like that the vast majority of people writing about him seem to be fairly gentle in their jibes and sincere in their expletive ridden appreciation of someone who appears to be a genuine eccentric. Not that I'd want to be stuck in a lift with him but it holds out hope for us all...and to my mind the presence of such people serves as a bit of a cushion for our own, clean fingernailed weirdness.
(Video and photo shamelessly stolen from the internet. Like most of this entry) |
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| Some long overdue photos from Russia |
[Aug. 4th, 2008|05:42 am] |
Not spectacular but I'm too lazy for proper photography. My usual aim when taking photos is to try and get the feeling of presence.
I didn't say I was any good at it.
1. The feet of friends helping me to clean my flat after a fairly epic party the day before I left. May 30th, probably.
2. The grey Volga and Soviet style gloom, beloved by patronising graduate students everywhere. I only took this picture because I got stuck on a bus that was crowded to the extent that it was physically impossible to get off at any stop before the bus speeded over the river. I took this photo on the walk back.
3. A school behind the flat I was living in. I woked up most days to the sound of happy children, which I enjoyed in a totally non-paedophilic manner.
4. A surprise snowstorm and lots of overzealous drivers at Gorky Square. You can just about see a stern statue of Maxim Gorky just in the middle.
I find it very hard to make sense of my life...and by most people's standards I've had a fairly non-dramatic time of things. Especially in terms of great traumas. All my great traumas (such as they were/are) enacted themselves in a bit of a slow burn. I was in my home town on Saturday to visit my parents and it felt terribly strange. Every time I go back I feel like a ghost haunting my own previous life.
There are so many things about the place (and by extension, my time there) that I am only just realising. For example, all the boys my age at school who were called John Paul. I didn't make the Catholic connection until long after I left. Took it for granted. The population of 20,000...I never thought it was an especially small place but on reflection it is less a satellite town and more a single necrotic suburb, knotted tight with plasma screen aspiration and the odd, decaying parochialism of a place where the WH Smith's was replaced by a Poundland. Sometimes I look up old classmates on Bebo and things. Most still live there. It never occurred to me as an option, even once.
I'm not saying that to express how much of a big city sophisticate I am. I mean...yesterday I accidentally pissed on the bathroom floor and later had chips and cheese for dinner. I still have some way to go before I transform into a 21st century Clark Gable. It's just strange that people still live there, in essentially the same social circles they were in when they started primary school...the sons and daughters of people who had pretty much done just the same. Much like how so many of their grandparents and great grandparents and great great grandparents all came off the boat from Ireland together. I can't really get my head around it. |
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[Aug. 2nd, 2008|06:58 am] |
Have you ever taken a shit that made you feel nostalgic, or evoked in you a sense of another time in your life?
I have. |
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[Jul. 31st, 2008|05:06 am] |
Sad end for bear with jar on head
At one point or another I think we have all been that bear.
I'm listening to Life Is A Fucking Fiasco by John Moore which seems to go quite well with the story. |
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| Four photos that have been lingering on my phone |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|02:24 am] |
 
 
1. Some girl in Krakow, June 07
2. Night time in Malaga, February 08
3. Sign in Jewish restaurant, Krakow, June 07
4 Marta/atakishi, London, October 07 |
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| Partying my dick into the dirt |
[Jul. 26th, 2008|01:18 am] |
Going to see The Dark Knight tomorrow at the Imax. I may well mess my panties.
It's going to be awesome and his mum probably had it coming anyway.
Good old Jam.
I've added a bunch of people to my friends list recently because I want to waste more time on the Internet. Would anyone like to recommend a friend?
Also...what are your favourite RSS feeds? |
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[Jul. 22nd, 2008|05:16 am] |
Do you ever argue on the internet? What do you argue about?
I'll try and do a proper entry here soon. The problem is that LJ has a way of keeping me honest if I use it consistently i.e if I were to write in here more, I'd have to address my SHOCKING LAZINESS.
Anyway. Here is a picture I took of one of the 'dating' channel things we get on Freeview.
I know it's bad to mock the afflicted but....poor Devil Rider.
Do you have any funny pictures? Show me them. |
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[Jul. 21st, 2008|02:40 am] |
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Tea made with chocolate milk = MMMMMMM |
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| Focussing on the positive |
[Jul. 17th, 2008|09:54 pm] |
I was in Borders earlier. A bunch of poets were giving readings. It was really really awful. I wonder if anyone ever tells them how awful they are. I don't think they do. I think people are impressed by any words delivered with enough smugness and confidence. It's that combined with the fact that people who attend poetry recitals like to think of themselves as being quite clever and so will applaud anything they don't understand on the basis that, if it is a load of non-metrical, worthless gobbledegook, it must therefore be really outstanding poetry. Reciting poetry in public is very brave but I don't think that alone should have people swooning into their cappuccinos.
It was really awful. |
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| Comments |
[Jul. 11th, 2008|05:58 pm] |
1. I need to drink more.
2. My hair should be protected by some kind of heritage organisation because of the contributions it has made and will continue to make to society as a result of its sheer awesomeness.
3. I was in the same room as Roman Polanski's wife on Monday.
4. I feel like where I am now is where I should have been when I was 20.
5. I have done next to fuck all since coming back from Russia. It feels like my pre-Russia mind has tried to stitch itself onto my post-Russia mind, removing any appropriate sense of urgency I should be developing with regards to work. It also feels like Russia was a very long time ago.
6. I should be back there by now but can't really be fucked to be honest.
7. I got into a phase of quite liking egg mayonnaise but I'm over it now. |
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